Well this is a shitty hole I’ve dug for myself
(Sorry if this gets long, I can’t put a Read More break when I’m on my phone.)
Completely out of medication and I may not get any more until Friday.
Mom doesn’t know I’m completely out. If she does find out she might kill me. I can already feel the symptoms of being off my medication. It’s worse now than it used to be. I used to not feel any different for a few days if I’m off my medicine. It’s only been a day and I feel terrible. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.
Sometimes I’m afraid that something’s going to happen to me. Even when I take my medication on a regular basis, I don’t feel well.
I’m not necessarily scared of death more than I’m scared of what I’d leave unfinished. But still, I don’t want to die. Ah, this post turned very dark very fast. I don’t think I’m dying. I don’t feel like I am. But I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I’m sick and I’m always going to be.
I wish I cared more about my health than I did sleep. I’m impulsively selfish, huh?